Scouts' Badge for Bottoming

It's been a while since I was a Boy Scout but I recall deep from the recesses of my memory, something about 'Be Prepared.' A good scout was always prepared, and in those days it meant something about keeping a jack knife and a compass on you at all times. For aging boy scout bottoms it could also mean keeping yourself cleaned out at all times. I can only reason that the bottom half of a long term relationship cleans himself out before going to bed and first thing upon getting up in the morning. I mean, I've never had a relationship where I slept with somebody, the same somebody, night after night...so I'm only trying to make sense of it. If your mate starts putting the moves on you in the middle of the night, the least you can do is oblige and you'd better be ready for anything.

Back in the '80's when I was an exclusive top and didn't give an itty bitty thought about what bottoms have to do, I had a colleague at work who was decades ahead of me, as far as awareness was concerned. I guess Barry was versatile, and I'm not sure why I think that, because he never left the house without a cleaned and lubed hole. I discovered this when we had occasion to travel together on business, when we shared a room at the Disneyland Hotel in Anaheim, this was years ago. After dinner, he announced that he was going to take a cab to hit the gay bars in Garden Grove, the town next door to Anaheim where all the gay bars were at the time, and could I leave for a while so he could get ready? Getting ready meant cleaning out and lubing his hole with vaseline which is what he liked to use, I found out.
Then he told me that this is what he did every night. Just in case. Be prepared.

Now that I have 3 fuck buddies, I've altered my lifestyle to accommodate their tastes. They're all daybirds...one is an early morning bird, another is a nooner and the other hits me up on his way home from work. Now I'm not about to turn down a chance to get laid. Since my conversion, the only certain thing is that I'm going to take my HIV with me to the grave, so there's no good reason to pass up a chance or put off an opportunity, much less to be noble. This means I have to be prepared just about all the time, and this requires a scout's dedication.
Scout's honor.
Listen up, all you bottoms working on your scout's badges.
Be prepared.
I think I've earned my badge.