Friday, July 13, 2018

Trumpf Shits Where He Eats

The greatest vaudeville act to come out of Park Avenue continued to delight his fan club with an outrageous performance at a NATO conference, then delivered his usual load of bullshit to an unappreciative audience in London; so seeking better ratings, takes the act to Russia where he is expected to bring down the house.  Expect a new act in Russia with its crypto-gayboi Himself a formidable Star in His Own Right who will roll out the Red Carpet for the Park Avenue vaudevillian, and a Private Lapdance Meeting (for all we know) away from that pesky media.  Yes, that's what it will be: a Private Lapdance with a crypto-gay.  You can fill out the blanks as you see fit. 

We anxiously await what comes out of the Private Session, but one thing is certain: the players will be toasting with Pinko Champagne. 

Monday, June 18, 2018

Trumpf, L'il Kim: Lorie Daves Beauty Failures

One would think the Lorie Daves' beauty treatment, peddled in jest by Saturday Night Live back in the day, would not have worked for either the Fake President or Korean playmate, L'il Kim.  Lorie's treatment is more of a strategy than a treatment, and it's pretty simple: hang out with hideous people who make you look gorgeous by comparison.  As we all observed, such a treatment didn't work well in Singapore at all: chubby L'il Kim stuck to his landscaped head and the usual flab-concealing suit tank he favors.  Fake President showed up in his usual bulky mass of dark fabric stiched together somewhere in Mexico (assuming he wears his own brand of suit) and another of those long ties better than halfway to his crotch.  The end result, based on Lorie Daves: a draw.

It wasn't a draw regarding politics, however. Score it as a big win for L'il Kim in getting the cancellation of our war games exercises with South Korea.  As a veteran, I understand the enormity of this irresponsible decision that will compromise American readiness in case of military engagement, in the first place, that's why we're there in dicey Korea, at great expense to the American taxpayer among other matter.  In the second place, the Fake President is putting American service personnel at a disadvantage.  Even a Fake President, as a graduate of a rich boy's pissy military academy (nice uniforms!) should understand such military basics.  No chance.  Good work, L'il Kim: forget Lorie Daves, and yeah, your hair IS better.

Monday, June 11, 2018

Fake President Fucks It Up in Canada

A fabulous, blowsy, frowzy, bleached blond blowhard went north and from there things went south.  The news is abuzz over the G7 Meeting fiasco, with the Fake President and his hatchet men attacking our best friend and ally in the world, Canada.  The media pretends to be puzzled over Trumpf's attacks on Justin Trudeau, why, why, why?  It's obvious to me, and maybe to others.  The out-of-shape, fast food guzzling, tweeting Fake President couldn't handle being anywhere close to the young, handsome, articulate Canadian with good hair (unbleached) and wow, wearing a suit that actually fits.  So a Fake President, with all those bulges concealed in a bulky Trump suit (banned from Macy's god bless them), just did what any Mean Girl would do.  Who's surprised?  Not me, that's for sure. 

The Fake President might do better in his upcoming meeting in Singapore.  There won't be any Trudeaus there, but rather a schlumpy Asian chubette with a lot of obvious personal problems.  One thing, though, the Korean has better hair.  That might be enough to set the Fake President off.  We'll know soon enough.

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Barebacking Hollywood Street Whore Runs for WeHo City Council

His real name is Erik Schmidt but I became aware of him when he was Erik Eriksen showing it off on the wrapper cover of the Knightbreeders (based in North Hollywood) video, 'Barebacking Hollywood Street Whores.'  And it is very nice, straight up and rock hard.  Erik wears nothing more than a fishnet top...and a baseball cap; nothing subtle about Knightbreeders porn. 

There was always a bit of humor to Erik's porn persona.  For a while he uploaded his own videos frequently on Xtube.  Mostly the videos followed Erik on his prowls around West Hollywood and meet ups starting at a garbage dumpster in the alley, for example.  He also had an interesting schtick: uploading hardcore sex videos with Erik delivering an exposition in front of the venue of the moment, a collection of some of the most notorious sheet burners to be found in LA, one of them, the Olive Motel on Sunset Blvd, I know personally.  If you like your sex sleazy this was the place to start.  Erik thought up this routine and it became a personal Xtube favorite, and I would have added them to my 'Favorites' collection, except for one thing: they were all safe sex videos, such was his sex life at the time.  So he can preach hiv prevention and not be phony about it, that's a fact.  Erik has admitted his own positive status and says it began with a rape...OK.

It's been a longtime since I lived in WeHo.  I grew up there before it incorporated into its own city, and when terms such as 'Boystown' and 'Swish Alps' were commonly used.  And though I live in San Francisco now, I remain interested in WeHo (a relatively recent term) and return a couple of times a year.  Give me a good reason and I'll get my ass down there.  From what I can see, the WeHo city government shows a bit of a good old gay boy culture, and I don't know how good that can be, but I'm pretty sure that Erik Schmidt is not part of it, and that's something.  He's educated, and a veteran, and that' a good thread for a start.  Barebacking.  Street Whore.  Poz.  Hung.  The thread goes on.  I wish I could endorse, but I can't here....I'm not qualified...but I think Erik Schmidt is a good start if you're not into good old gay boys.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Bye Bye BBRT

Nervous Craigslist gets out of the Personal Ad business.  That clunky legislation signed by Trumpf put the fear of Gawd in them and others, and them others would include BarebackRT, and this I've learned firsthand.  Now I'm pretty sure that my favorite hookup site doesn't have a hoard of trolls spying on its members the way supertech entities do.  I'm guessing they have a software that's flagging accounts based on language, terms, etc.  I think I may have mentioned 'escorts'...not a stretch...then I get my account, which I've hard from BBRT's earliest year...ah, 'terminated.'  Their term.  Yeah, I've used this website to hook up, meet people, and wow, make friends, who will last longer than BarebackRT ever will. 

This could be a sign of changing times...when website 'escorts' are now 'pornstars' or 'masseurs.'  A boring game, and just as boring as getting drunk at a bar while trying to hook up.  We'll have to see where this goes, but I do take comfort that I'm not the only one.  That great megaslut, Ryan Cummings himself, revealed on Twitter that he, too, has had his BBRT account 'terminated.'  But the sad thing: Ryan, I and thousands of others with terminated BBRT accounts, will discover that we don't need BBRT.  Maybe most of us never did.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Pissy Trumpf

The piss story was provocative, and not handled properly.  By 'properly' I mean that interesting questions were not asked, possibly because the media didn't want to appear 'too interested' in piss.  To be interested in the world of piss and to be interested in the people actually paid to pee, well...that's something most people are not ready to admit.

First of all, I believe that Trumpf was indeed offered professional sex while in Russia; Russians are known for their hospitality, and it's been reported that the girls might be Ukrainian, not Russian, and these girls are known for their beauty.  No wonder Putin wanted to annex part of the Ukraine, their women are renowned as fine specimens of the female species.  But, we are also writing about professional sex workers and no such girl would pee on a bed.  A professional leaves the room as she found it, as if she hadn't been there at all.  The conclusion is that Trumpf thought they were going to wet his bed.  The further conclusion is that he's pretty square when it comes to certain fetishes, even one as tame as pee.

Sadly, Trumpf's military academy training failed him when it could have helped him enjoy some fine Ukrainian kinky (well, OK, in some quarters, kinky) sex.  Trumpf did you forget what you learned in survival training?  If you have to, you...can...drink...your own piss.  It's clean, ya big germophobe.  Piss is sterile and about the tamest way to get another man's DNA deep into your gut.  Yes, you can drink Bronkowski's piss.  Yes, you can drink Sanchez' piss.  Yes, Trumpf, you can drink Washington's piss.  Trumpf!  Enjoy!  Your time in the presidential limelight is drawing short.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Porn World Awaits Spermy Daniels

Yeah, Stormy will bring down the Big Ugly White Man.  Actually Whitey isn't the type to let Himself get impeached.  He'll skip first, but we'll have to see how this plays out.  Any which way, it ain't gonna be pretty.  In the meantime, I'm ready for Spermy Daniels, the next great gay pornstar.  We already have Stormy, but she ain't gay.  And we have Christopher Daniels, and yes he's very nice.  But I'm ready for Spermy.  Which studio is going to bring him out?  'Til then, I'll be happy with the new talent out there, just in time to restore my faith in porn.  It was getting a little too respectable.  Now we're ready.