Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Jesus and the Gift of Leather

It's two days after Christmas and I'm still in this shitburg cowtown just south of Sacramento, where it's been freezing every night and the daytime temperatures aren't much better, definitely not a sexy time, and I'm taking care of my aged mother and that's about the best of it.  But Christmas Day wasn't all that bad: I spent the entire day breaking in some new-to-me leather gear.

Not that it needed much breaking in, but I'd be an unfeeling fool if I didn't appreciate the significance of it all.  The best shopping in this town can be found in the thrift shops which abound, as every church seems to have one.  I have found well-worn jeans and gym gear at these places, so it wasn't odd to find me pawing my way through the racks alongside the Baby Jane lookalikes, dumpy latinas and redneck babes recently retired from the rodeo circuits.  When, what should I find?  Incredibly, among the usual ugly polyester crap, but a pair of...assless chaps...in old school black leather with just the right amount of wear and tear.  But wait.  TWO pairs of assless chaps.  One from Pakistan, which didn't ring quite right, and the other from Mexico and sold through a store called Apache Leather, which I couldn't locate on the internet.  I tried them on, and Lordy, they fit.  I don't know how much I would have paid, but at $49.99, I didn't have to mull it over.  I bought 'em.

I think of myself as a master fisting top and am no stranger to leather, but I've never felt right spending hundreds, or thousands of dollars on leather drag.  I grew up poor and lived from week to week until I joined the military, so spending money, even bus fare, was always a careful undertaking.  And it's stuck with me all this time.  But I'm also conservative by nature and I have a natural respect for tradition.  So I got by the leather scene with the minimum: black boots, jeans, tee shirt (always black or white) and a black leather cap which I bought years ago at the leather store that used to be next to the Mack sex club on Folsom.  So I have to consider this opportunity, presented during this Christmas season, as a Sign from the Lord.  Jesus wants me to be properly dressed for my leather lifestyle.  Jesus wants me to get out of those old genuine combat fatigues and into some decent chaps for fisting all those willing asses out there.  And I will.  This is not quite a New Year's Resolution, but let's just say that I do Pay Attention, and I do Believe, and I Will Fist and Get Fucked more in the New Year, God help me.

As Jesus wants me to.  And to all you hungry bottom holes out there, I'll be fisting you all wearing my Gift from the Lord.  Happy New Year!!