Sunday, February 14, 2016

Sister Mary Ignatius Beckons Supreme Court Chub to His Last Catechism

The Roman Catholic faithful cannot resist Sister Mary Ignatius.  And the not-so-faithful Catholics can't forget her.  Sister was a professional virgin whose lack of experience did not disqualify her from lecturing her charges on all sorts of sexual matters.  The catechism, compiled and maintained by like virgins of either sex, with its chapters of instruction on each of the Ten Commandments, devotes an inordinate amount of attention to the Sixth Commandment.  The Sixth Commandment...Thou shalt not commit pretty succinct, but Sister and her fellow travelers, priests and nuns again, chaste and saintly all, don't leave it at that.  With the Baltimore Catechism (the widely used version known to anybody who went to Catholic school or attended Sunday School), Sister and an army of clerics expand the Lord's rule to include all sorts of thoughts and behavior they like to classify as 'impure.'  This perverse strategy of control is applied to Catholic children from the age of seven or so (did you touch yourself down there? or did you think about touching yourself down there?), and thank the Heavenly Lord, that most of us along the path to Adulthood, recognize this bullshit for what it is and move on.  Sister, let my mind alone!!  Many of us, those of us who have seen The Light, would have to be described as nominal Catholics, or non-practicing Catholics, or worse...bad Catholics.

Not so our late Supreme Court justice, who like fellow Catholics Roberts, Kennedy, Alito and that other one, and unlike many of us, never seemed to dislodge the baggage heaped on by Sister Mary Ignatius and her cohorts.  If he was pursued by chubby chasers along Life's Great Highway, we must believe that he kept the faith and always followed the Catechism's lesson on the Sixth Commandment.  I'm pretty sure he did not touch himself down there, all those kids aside.  Judging by his writings and speeches and actions, there was just as much Sister Mary as there was Constitution, in his judicial opinions.  So when Sister Mary Ignatius beckoned, off he went to heed her call.  One would hope that the Catechism went with him, but no such luck.  Sister Mary Ignatius lives...with Roberts, Kennedy, Alito and that other one.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Nasty Finger Draws Ryan Cummings' Blood...Blame Bad Porn

There's always some lout in the crowd who thinks he has to stick his finger up an ass before fucking it.  I'm not talking about a sensuous probe of the buttlips but rather the clumsy insertion of the forefinger, thrusted in savagely without any style or class.  And if you're going to behave that way, then you had better have fingernails filed down so you don't cut up the hole you want to fuck.  You do want to fuck that hole, don't you?  I read the profiles of so many queens who offer they are not into 'blood,' so then why stir it up?

For this inconsiderate and disrespectful habit of long uncut fingernails shoved up an ass, I blame all the bad porn out there, with dunderhead gay-for-pay tops showing how little they know about gay sex.  Bad porn is more prolific than ever with countless mediocre (and ultimately expensive) websites out there streaming shit 24/7.  Its bad influence has spread to the far corners of the earth.   I think bad porn is responsible for a lot of dumbass sexual practices, such as butt slapping.  A lot of unsophisticated tops think it's mandatory to slap the ass before fucking it, which of course is total bullshit.  Another absurdity is dirty talk, which the unsophisticated must believe adds an element of raunchiness.  'Ya like that big dick?'  Ah shut up and just fuck me, you dumb shit...your dick ain't that big and I've had way bigger.  Well, that's what I'd like to say...but never have.

Ryan Cummings was down in LA this past week, and had to curtail his usual marathon bottoming when some shithead with untrimmed nails cut him up.  Ryan tweeted that he had to quit early and thought that he might have to write off sex for a while, referring to the last time this happened, also in LA as it turns out, when he had to forego sex for a week.  But the man's evidently a quick heal, and determined not to miss what he calls the Super Hole party, where he elevated that annual sex event, with his famous tawdry presence and took his usual dozens of hot loads.  Ryan Cummings is an inspiration to all of us who at times suffer the wages of bad porn.