GOP Gives Linzie Graham More Time to Butch It Up

Billy admits that he didn't realize how fast Trumpf would act to send Ole Miss Sessions slammin' back to Alabam.  One goddamned day after the Dems sealed the deal (tho it's still not over, it's good enuf as-is), Trumpf appointed what appears to be a big bald white con man to run the show at the Justice Department.  What gives?  Why not appoint the Confirmed Bachelor straight out?

Rumors swirling within conservative fag Republican circles suggest that the Confirmed Bachelor required more time to become acceptably macho for the job.  The unisexual name doesn't help...would that be Miss or Mr.?  And Billy disagrees that Southern accents are uniformly faggy.  He attributes that idea to the most famous Southern fag of all time, the great Truman Capote, and Tru's drug and drinking problems only exaggerated such.  But the Confirmed Bachelor went off the rails during the Kavanaugh hearings, sounding more like a Carolina spinster ranting against integrating her little niece's kindergarten class.  It didn't read well at all.  It was scary.  Is there an old Confederate hag in there, screaming to get out?  Somebody, do something.

And Billy surmises that the GOP has given up on locating some baritone babe to commit to 'stunt babe' status with the idea of making the Bachelor less Confirmed. 'Stunt Babe' is a term I never encountered during my time in the military.  I read it in Rich Merritt's 'Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star'...(while still on active duty, Rich performed in gay porn under the name of Danny Orlis, pretty ballsy I have to say)..where gaylena officers teamed with muff munchin' counterparts for the appearance of respectability.  Basically, it was a gay sham to keep reality under wraps.  These were career military officer types with a lot to lose.  The Confirmed Bachelor himself served honorably and so evidently understands how this game must be played.  No dice, Billy guesses.  People are too smart these days.  Besides, if he wanted to play the game, he'd have a stunt babe of his own by now.

But the butching up campaign goes on.  Republican bitches are whispering that Sarah Huckabee Sanders might be called in to give the Confirmed Bachelor some coaching on how to project a tough mannish snarl and how to master the extenuated run-on word salad responses to tough questions.

With that that big bald white dude barrelling his big rig towards the obvious roadblock, Billy guesses that Fox News will be called in to build up the Confirmed Bachelor as acceptable as-is.