Omar Mateen Was Not Gay

There is nothing sadder than a queer man who will not allow himself to be queer.  There is nothing more dangerous than an armed queer man who will not allow himself to be queer.  There is not a gay man in America who does not believe that Omar Mateen, Orlando mass murderer, was not gay.
There has been much discussion among the mainstream, 'straight' if you will, media as to whether this guy was gay.  According to his second wife (the first marriage failed), he was given to homophobic comments, and occasional rants: always a flag for repressed queerdom.  He was no stranger to gay venues. He was familiar with certain aspects of gayness.  He knew of gays from the internet, from school and from the street.  And there will be more revelations as the curious media delves deeper into his confused existence.  I posit that Omar Mateen was not queer.

Omar Mateen was not queer.  Omar Mateen wanted to be queer.  Omar Mateen wanted to be queer but couldn't let himself be queer, for reasons of conservatism in religion and culture.  Omar Mateen desperately wanted to be queer but couldn't learn how to conduct himself in a gay culture, and was known for loutish behavior that prompted gay men to keep their distance.  Omar Mateen was rejected by the people who sought entertainment at the Pulse, in Orlando.  And Omar Mateen hated them because they were able to do things that he could not do, even though he wanted to.  Omar Mateen hated himself for being incapable of being like the people at Pulse, having fun, 'making friends and finding lovers' to cite the language of disco.  If he had any homosexual experiences in his history, I am pretty sure they were unsatisfactory for others and himself.  He hated this.  He couldn't get laid to save his life.  He hated all those people who were getting laid.  He hated this.  So he bought some firearms and acted out what he thought a 'real man' should do under such awareness.

We, as Americans, will survive this sort of violence.  As individuals, some of us will not survive, sadly.  It is going to be a long haul, but we will get there.  I think it will take a couple of generations for religious and cultural conservatism to decline into a sort of quaint and picturesque hobby,and lose its influence over American culture.  Until then, we have to get real about keeping firearms out of the men who believe they are not quite the men they feel they should be.  These are the troubled men who used to buy big trucks and now buy big guns, and just might get the chance to act out their own self-hating agonies.  Not just anybody should be able to drive a truck.  Not just anybody should be able to shoot a gun.  It's that simple.  We have to make it real for these men.  They shouldn't be able to buy guns just to 'be a man.'  They should go back to buying big trucks.