Pornstar Deaths Cloud 2012's Memory

This has been an exceptionally bad year for the porn industry. I'm not talking about declining sales of dvd's.  Porn studios will adapt.   I'm not talking about Los Angeles County voters' decision to mandate the use of condoms for porn videos.  Only the AIDS mafia cares about that ineffectual and self-serving ballot measure; now they can feel good about themselves and the salaries they get from their non-profit constituents.  No, I'm talking about the deaths of young men who have sex for the gay world's pleasure, and whose legacies are forever recorded on video.

The biggest name of course is Erik Rhodes who had a fairly long career going back almost 10 years for studios like Falcon and Raging Stallion.  Handsome, well-endowed, and with a sculpted mega massive bod fueled by steroids, he died of a heart attack that probably had to do with his reported use and/or dependency on GHB and amphetamines, among other stuff, not to mention those goddamned steroids.  To croak at the age of 30 would have required a lot of drugs all working at the same time; but on top of that pharmaceutical stew of death, there were confused, maybe even pathological, psychological issues which he wasn't shy about revealing through the internet media.  I really feel sorry for this guy who, though no stranger to the emergency room and at least one harrowing nightmare at Bellevue, probably never got the psychiatric help he so obviously needed.  I have a friend who's a shrink with a Castro-based group of patients, including not a few porn players, who has alluded to (in generic terms, my friend is totally professional and doesn't name names) the porn stars who muddle through each day, feeling unloved, unappreciated, unwanted, unfulfilled, depressed, despondent and who search for relief at the gymn, in the bars, on the internet, in the park, on the street, or in the arms of a guy who doesn't give a good goddamn about his problems.  Some of them are very much like Erik who at 30, was mournful that he was getting 'old' and losing his looks.  And I'm still oversimplifying this culture of self-destruction.  Blogger Derek Hartley, who knew ER, writes most eloquently about a doomed pornstar's life...Erik's death was a self-fulfilling prophesy.

And then, there's the issue of Erik's HIV status. It turns out he was poz.  Is anybody out there surprised?  Obviously he barebacked in his personal sex life (so what?) and there's a lot of shit swirling out there about his threesome with another escort and a rich client the night before he died.
These revelations have been posted on more than one website, unleashing a lot pent-up resentment against barebacking and the porn industry for 'degrading' and 'exploiting' professional sex performers.  You have all heard or read this bullshit before.

I don't watch much mainstream gay porn so my connection with Erik Rhodes is mostly cultural.  Of course I'm sad, but I felt a connection with the loss of Josh Weston who also died this year of  an undisclosed reason.  Josh was 39, nicely built and had an interesting sexy face.  After his career in mainstream porn came to an end, he shifted into bareback porn (connect the dots, guys) and bottomed in a slew of videos for most of the better studios.  I liked watching him get fucked, and I'm glad I bought some of those videos.  Josh, we'll remember you where you liked to live best, in a sling.  R.I.P., dear heart.

Nelson Troy is dead after running into automobile traffic in Mexico and they say methamphetamines were found in his system.  He was also an underwear model and used one of the ads in his bbrts profile, which I foud kind of irreverently gutsy.  Openly poz, and a great bottom...his best work was in 'Double Fuck My Ass' for SX with Drew Peters and Andre Barclay, the whole video is a pozapalooza.

Shorty (in stature only!) Dick Damonson died in New York.  He worked for TIM, and starred in the group fuck closing scene in 'Fuckholes 2,' one of the best videos ever.  Drug use is only rumored here, but Dick might have been going through some rough personal times.  Blogger Rawtop writes about hooking up privately and fucking Dick, and reading that entry still always gets me hard.

Nathan Price, who worked mostly out of England, died this year.  I know only the name but you can find his work, if you look for it.  Cause of death undisclosed, as far as I know.

Adam Faust was only 38 and fairly clean-cut for the talented and noteworthy fisting top that he was.
He did many many videos which will be enjoyed for decades to come.  A heart attack in his parents' home is what has been reported, but the net queens are reporting tales of rampant drug use.  This educated man (an MBA) might have been on the brink of getting his life together, since fucked up as he may have been, he obviously had the smarts to overcome any problem.

Wholesome 'Sean' from the Corbin Fisher studio, died prematurely this year.  Not much to go on here, and no mention of drugs.

And Roman Ragazzi, who worked mostly for Raging Stallion, committed suicide at the age of 38.
Despite the Italian name, RR was actually Israeli and worked at the Israeli consulate in New York until he was outed and then resigned.  He then worked as a personal trainer and got into porn.  Here's another beefy, muscular stud who didn't have to go the way he did.  There's certainly been no mention of steroid use, but I can't help but wonder if depression is a side effect of steroid use.  These guys usually have great bodies that require a bit more than simply gymn work to look as they do...and steroid aren't illegal.  So, is this shit worth it?  Let me close this installment with on observation: no bareback pornstar looks like he's a steroid abuser.  I can't think of one, not one.  Wasted, maybe. But never bulging, bloated and pumped up with steroids.  These muscle gods should fuck that shit.  They'd still look hot without steroids.  Now, meth is another story altogether...sadly...and that's all I'll write about that.

So, pack off 2012 and let's not go there again.  I am really happy with the results of the 2012 Presidential Election where the good guys won, the bad guys lost and the American people demonstrated that they can not and will not be bought.  We also showed that big money and big religion has met its match.  So I happily kiss 2012 good-bye and look forward, with optimism and enthusiasm, to 2013.

Happy New Year, men.

Black Christmas

There is no black man in these here United States who is unworthy of my ass.  If any blackman wants to nail this ass...this ass is his...no discussion, no bullshit, gay, straight, neg or poz...my ass is his.  This explains why I was navigating the back streets of North Oakland on Christmas Eve...feeling my way through the dimly lit avenues, noting the abandoned sofas on the street, the shady characters hanging out in front of corner liquor stores, the peace and calm of this holy night.  C'mon, it's Christmas, Jesus rules, only good things happen on Christmas Eve...like getting fucked by black daddy, thank you Lord, I believe! 

I had a date with a guy I'd buddylisted on Barebackrt so far back I couldn't remember when it was, but I was happy to have hooked up finally.  With Treasure Island's 'Breeding Mike O'Neill' playing, this daddy put me through all kinds of gymnastic moves before he went for the gold, pounding my ass missionary style.  I love my dads, there's almost always some substance there.  And handsome as only a black man can be...his unshaven shadow buzz read white against his hot chocolate skin color.  Fabulous. 

This man was dedicated to blowing his wad up my ass, and when getting fucked missionary, one can make eye contact, and I love reading their faces (his face), a study in sexual destiny: that seed is going to travel from his balls deep into my ass.  It's exhilirating, inspiring...and fulfilling...even better when it happens twice...yeah, two fuckin' hot black loads deposited deep into my cumbucket on Christmas Eve.
Forget Santa.  This was a gift from Above.

All the while I was getting tapped, I kept lookin' at this black daddy's pecs, and was getting myself off on how hot they'd look in a black leather vest.  That thought was so provocative that I promised to bring a vest for him to wear the next time we get it on.  I gave this poor guy I real workout, using all my Castro Clamp talents to give him a good time.  And rewarded I was...with two blessed loads.
One black man satisfied, and so many more out there to go.

I love Oakland, poor homely sister to Queen Lady San Francisco across the Bay.  No harm meant, though, Oakland is a seething hotbed of sexuality, with a great many black men to serve and to love, in our own animalistic way.  I hope to come back to North Oakland...again...and again.
Merry Christmas to all you Christians (would-be and otherwise) out there and Season's Greetings to humanity, all.

Love to all my fellow men.

Billy.

Bath House Pump & Dump

Yesterday I decided at the last minute to hit my local bath house.  And I wanted a room right away and not have to spend hours on the waiting list.  Since CumUnion was also scheduled for that night, I knew I'd have to get their early, which I did and got a standard room, got myself together and then spent...five, six...hours on my belly getting nothing more than a bunch of feel-ups.  It was a Wednesday afternoon and typically...slow.  By the time CumUnion got underway, the communal playroom was jammed, with a gallery of cocksuckers and a crowd of tops taking turns on a muscular bottom who wasn't going to give up his space for anybody.  As it turns out, that same bottom hogged the fuckbench the whole time I was there.  But watching him take cock after cock, did get me hot.  I hadn't been all that horny, and had decided on the baths mostly because I was in the neighborhood and knew I wouldn't get another chance for a while.

With the clock running out (the time limit for a room is 8 hrs.), I went back to my room and went into cumdump mode.  Being 5-6 has its advantages sometimes, like...you can be a cumdump in your own tiny room in your favorite bath house.  I can get on all fours, butt out and up, across the mattress and parallel to the door and hallway.  And I can look right at the prospects as they think about coming in.  And man, they came in.  It took about 5 minutes, although let's get real: it doesn't happen like that all the time, much less on a Wednesday night.  The first guy was a white daddy with an average dick who wanted to cum (in a bath house it's all about timing and mostly little to do with being a hot bottom), so he gave me a vigorous working over and shot a load deep in my slutty hole...a lot deeper than I thought, it would turn out.  As the daddy left, he was followed by another daddy type with hairy legs, and a bigger dick which slid right up my seeded sexchute.  This was another spirited fucker, so I was getting to feel really used, and slammed around like a no-account, sleazy piece of meat with a hole to abuse and fill.  This white pigtop fucked me for a long time but didn't cum, but it was hot just the same...and with the door open, we had drawn a crowd.  That always happens.

What doesn't always happen is to have two lookalike tops come in together.  These pigs looked and acted like a couple...white, short hair, slim and muscled bods and with a 20-something badass aura.  The first guy grabbed my ass and put me where he wanted me and then fucked the hell out of me.  By now, my ass was well fucked, and the first top's generous load had been worked around in there...it was getting swishy and soupy and slurpy noisy.  Then his brother took over...his dick was a little bigger...these were average sized dicks that stayed rock hard the whole time.  And the whole time was a good 20 minutes during which these dudes took turns on my ass, switching at will, as if they did this every night.  Hell, maybe they do.  Neither guy came, which maybe makes sense since I think they'd just got there for CumUnion.  But when they finished, they were finished, and theysauntered out with some attitude, slamming the door so hard that the light went out.  My kind of tops.

So like  it was getting on to 10 p.m., and although I was totally horned up by now, it was time to move on out and give my room up to some other cum hungry bottom.  I had been there 7 hrs. and everything happened in the last hour...typical, maybe.   As I checked out, there was a line of guys waiting to check in, and waiting list of 20 guys for a room.  It made me think of the 80's.  That load of cum stayed in my ass all night.  I got home, went to bed, and when I woke up, my morning crap was a wad of cum that was shot out in one big blob.  Just like the '80's.