Up Your Alley 2016 and SOMA History

I'm always ambivalent about draggin' my lazy ass down to Dore Alley for this annual event, often touted as being more 'San Francisco...local...neighborly' than the much more 'Universal...global...inclusive' Folsom Street Fair.   It's an exhausting fifteen minute walk from my house.  Just kidding.  I'll probably get down there tomorrow, but mostly because I'm one of the FOMO gang.  One good thing about past Dore Alleys is that the porno studios had booths were they unloaded inventory at bargain prices, and some good buys were to  be had.  I tried checking the website but there is no list of participating vendors that I could find, so I guess I'll have to check it out for myself.

One thing I did notice is that one website gives the phonetic pronunciation of Dore as 'dor,' which is news to me.  It had always been Dor-ee Alley, so I don't know where this Door is coming from.  Most of us know that the greater South of Market area consists of Mission, Howard, Folsom, Harrison, Bryant, Brannan and Townsend Streets running east/west and parallel to Market Street; the numbered streets run from north to south, 1st Street to 13th Street aka Division Street, as in dividing SOMA from the Mission which runs on a different grid altogether.  San Francisco has several grids intersecting, so you're a real San Franciscan when you know to get from the Bayview to the Presidio without checking a map.  The SOMA blocks were designed for commerce and filled with warehouses, factories, workshops, stables, and the Irish, including some of my ancestors.  And oh yeah, there were some Filipinos and Mexicans living there, too.  It was a Catholic kind of place.  The blocks are big, so there is a network of narrow streets, or alleys cutting through, making it easier to get around.  The joke is that the city planners named a lot of these streets after the working girls who labored on these streets to make life more pleasant for all the laborers, stevedores, teamsters and clerks...an overwhelmingly male population...who kept SOMA humming after work was closed for the day.  So when you're in SOMA next time, take note of Clementina, Jessie, Annie, Harriet, Kate, Minna, Mary, Clara, Zoe, Jennifer, Julia, and Dore.  There's also a Guy, a Gordon and a Morris, but I'll let you figure that part out for yourself.

Get down to Up Your Alley or Dore Alley and have a great time.

Ryan Cummings, Cockstar

There's no question that Ryan Cummings has the hottest ass in the business, and it's a shame that we can't see more of it, but he's up in Canada with a family and a good job and a bit far from the creative centers of the porn universe.  We're still waiting, patiently or not so patiently, for the end all gangbang of Ryan's famous ass to be captured on video and for posterity.  Until then, we're happy with BBRT's latest video offering, 'Filling Ryan Cummings,' available off the website for just thirty bucks which is less than I paid buying it off the shelf (where I grabbed the last copy available at my local porn outlet, the dvd is selling fast) in porn capital San Francisco.

The butt is famous, but after this video, I predict Ryan's cock will be just as famous.  BBRT's director, a talent named Koloff and unknown to me, has captured the star's unique talent of repeating ejaculations, and I'm not talking about a measly dribble.  The cum just spurts out, again and again, without the cockstar even touching himself.  And we get it from all the right angles.  Porn connoisseurs should buy the dvd for their collections and frequent future referencing.  Of course you can access the scenes through various websites, which I don't do since I consider that a waste of money (I believe in collateral) but sometimes, somewheres, there's no other choice.  That being your situation, check out the Ryan/Mick Raw matchup in a sex club.  Top Mick sports a big bold biohazard tattoo on his left shoulder and Koloff shoots the scene from the best perspective for all you pervs thrilled by any and all poz aspects of bareback sex.  Start at the BarebackRT website.

Omar Mateen Was Not Gay

There is nothing sadder than a queer man who will not allow himself to be queer.  There is nothing more dangerous than an armed queer man who will not allow himself to be queer.  There is not a gay man in America who does not believe that Omar Mateen, Orlando mass murderer, was not gay.
There has been much discussion among the mainstream, 'straight' if you will, media as to whether this guy was gay.  According to his second wife (the first marriage failed), he was given to homophobic comments, and occasional rants: always a flag for repressed queerdom.  He was no stranger to gay venues. He was familiar with certain aspects of gayness.  He knew of gays from the internet, from school and from the street.  And there will be more revelations as the curious media delves deeper into his confused existence.  I posit that Omar Mateen was not queer.

Omar Mateen was not queer.  Omar Mateen wanted to be queer.  Omar Mateen wanted to be queer but couldn't let himself be queer, for reasons of conservatism in religion and culture.  Omar Mateen desperately wanted to be queer but couldn't learn how to conduct himself in a gay culture, and was known for loutish behavior that prompted gay men to keep their distance.  Omar Mateen was rejected by the people who sought entertainment at the Pulse, in Orlando.  And Omar Mateen hated them because they were able to do things that he could not do, even though he wanted to.  Omar Mateen hated himself for being incapable of being like the people at Pulse, having fun, 'making friends and finding lovers' to cite the language of disco.  If he had any homosexual experiences in his history, I am pretty sure they were unsatisfactory for others and himself.  He hated this.  He couldn't get laid to save his life.  He hated all those people who were getting laid.  He hated this.  So he bought some firearms and acted out what he thought a 'real man' should do under such awareness.

We, as Americans, will survive this sort of violence.  As individuals, some of us will not survive, sadly.  It is going to be a long haul, but we will get there.  I think it will take a couple of generations for religious and cultural conservatism to decline into a sort of quaint and picturesque hobby,and lose its influence over American culture.  Until then, we have to get real about keeping firearms out of the men who believe they are not quite the men they feel they should be.  These are the troubled men who used to buy big trucks and now buy big guns, and just might get the chance to act out their own self-hating agonies.  Not just anybody should be able to drive a truck.  Not just anybody should be able to shoot a gun.  It's that simple.  We have to make it real for these men.  They shouldn't be able to buy guns just to 'be a man.'  They should go back to buying big trucks.