Trumpf, L'il Kim: Lorie Daves Beauty Failures

One would think the Lorie Daves' beauty treatment, peddled in jest by Saturday Night Live back in the day, would not have worked for either the Fake President or Korean playmate, L'il Kim.  Lorie's treatment is more of a strategy than a treatment, and it's pretty simple: hang out with hideous people who make you look gorgeous by comparison.  As we all observed, such a treatment didn't work well in Singapore at all: chubby L'il Kim stuck to his landscaped head and the usual flab-concealing suit tank he favors.  Fake President showed up in his usual bulky mass of dark fabric stiched together somewhere in Mexico (assuming he wears his own brand of suit) and another of those long ties better than halfway to his crotch.  The end result, based on Lorie Daves: a draw.

It wasn't a draw regarding politics, however. Score it as a big win for L'il Kim in getting the cancellation of our war games exercises with South Korea.  As a veteran, I understand the enormity of this irresponsible decision that will compromise American readiness in case of military engagement, in the first place, that's why we're there in dicey Korea, at great expense to the American taxpayer among other matter.  In the second place, the Fake President is putting American service personnel at a disadvantage.  Even a Fake President, as a graduate of a rich boy's pissy military academy (nice uniforms!) should understand such military basics.  No chance.  Good work, L'il Kim: forget Lorie Daves, and yeah, your hair IS better.

Fake President Fucks It Up in Canada

A fabulous, blowsy, frowzy, bleached blond blowhard went north and from there things went south.  The news is abuzz over the G7 Meeting fiasco, with the Fake President and his hatchet men attacking our best friend and ally in the world, Canada.  The media pretends to be puzzled over Trumpf's attacks on Justin Trudeau, why, why, why?  It's obvious to me, and maybe to others.  The out-of-shape, fast food guzzling, tweeting Fake President couldn't handle being anywhere close to the young, handsome, articulate Canadian with good hair (unbleached) and wow, wearing a suit that actually fits.  So a Fake President, with all those bulges concealed in a bulky Trump suit (banned from Macy's god bless them), just did what any Mean Girl would do.  Who's surprised?  Not me, that's for sure. 

The Fake President might do better in his upcoming meeting in Singapore.  There won't be any Trudeaus there, but rather a schlumpy Asian chubette with a lot of obvious personal problems.  One thing, though, the Korean has better hair.  That might be enough to set the Fake President off.  We'll know soon enough.