Roy Moore Didn't Help with Girls' Homework

Try for a moment to imagine yourself as a bible-thumping, God fearing Kristian gentleman in your early 30's in the morass that is Alabama.  And being a firm believer in Scripture,...you are...still (!) chaste.  A virgin, and possibly intimidated by real women.  I don't recall Scripture devoting much space to the virtue of chastity,...yet Kristians seem to put a high value on chastity, although in reality, chastity won't get one very far. 

And knowing your Bible inside and out, you know that Moses had 2 wives, and Solomon had 3, and David...well, David had 8.  Some barely more than children.  Well, that would be enough for any clean, pure, white Kristian virgin man.  Hell, let's hit the mall.  Fresh young girls.  No tainted hellfire belles for this guy.  Young girls...inexperienced...incapable of criticizing his clumsy, hicky moves...too young to protest those uncool hands, and easily shamed.  It all makes sense to me, and I'll leave it there.  Perhaps it will become clearer after this election tomorrow.

The most obvious comparison that comes to mind is the monumental Lewis Carroll who penned some of the finest words in the English language.  Lewis Carroll had a similar interest in little girls.  Google is burgeoning with images of Lewis Carroll together with his little girlfriends in sausage curls and flouncy Victorian party dresses.  He loved to sketch them in the nude, and wrote poems and stories for them, including one notably named Alice.  The comparison fails, though, on a couple of scores: first, Lewis Carroll seemed to lose interest in his girls as soon as they reached puberty, which is when Roy Moore seems to have demonstrated his interest... in the women who have come forward in our current controversy.  Second, Lewis Carroll was a genius...not just a witty, trenchant writer, but also a mathematician, photographer and clergyman.  Roy Moore, not so much.  The Kristian believes rather than thinks.  Roy Moore can't seem to think of what to do.  He went into hiding for several days after the women's disclosures were made.  A plausible excuse for Roy Moore's creepy pursuit of vulnerable, impressionable young girls, sees to have eluded him.  As for the girls now women: their homework's done.